Best Man Speech One Liners

Best Man Speech One Liners

Delivering a humorous best man speech requires preparation, thought and timing.  You must have the confidence and conviction to stand up in front of a crowd of people and deliver a speech that is funny and entertaining, yet at the same time insightful and sincere enough to impress the bride.  No pressure then!

Little wonder why so many best men have sleepless nights leading up to the big day, especially when you consider for many best men the last time they had to address an audience of any size was during a high school English lesson some 20 years ago.  Not quite the same granted, but you get the idea…

Fear not worried best men all over the world; help is at hand with our best man one liners and step-by-step guide to delivering a really funny best man speech.

Best Man Speech One Liners

Get the Audience on Side

Starting your best man speech is probably the hardest thing to do, get this right and it will instantly make you more relaxed and more receptive to the wedding guests.  Get this wrong and you may never recover.

The key therefore to delivering a great best man speech is to start off by saying something funny, with the help of some proven best man one liners that we shall discuss later.

Don’t get carried away though, your best man speech should only contain a few carefully crafted jokes.  Remember, a best man speech is expected to be humorous, but it should never offend or insult any of the wedding guests, especially not the newlyweds.
Tell a Couple of Stories

Aside from a few jokes, the body of a best man speech should contain some funny memories involving the groom.  Two good stories will be sufficient here.

Try to recall something embarrassing that happened to the groom that the wedding guests would find funny and aren’t aware of, and also something about how his life has changed for the better since meeting his new wife.

Don’t forget that it’s also the best man’s responsibility to read out any telegrams or cards from people who were unable to attend the wedding.

Finally then, conclude with a heart-warming and sincere toast to the bride and groom.  It is traditional, and there will be no better way to finish your speech.  Now, sit down and enjoy the rapturous applause, well done, you’ve earned it.

Best Man Speech Tips

  1. When you say something funny remember to pause to give the wedding guests chance to laugh.  Many best men are naturally nervous and will read through their speech at break-neck speed, this is a mistake.
  2. Timing is everything when delivering a best man speech, so it’s vital to give the wedding guests plenty of opportunity to laugh when they are supposed to.
  3. Practice your best man speech over and over, and rewrite any words you have difficulty remembering.  Once you are happy, copy it out onto note-card and memorize it.
  4. You won’t want to recite your speech word-for-word, as all of the memorable best man speeches appear spontaneous and off-the-cuff.
  5. Visualize standing up in front of a crowd of people and delivering your speech.  This will help prepare you come the day of the wedding.  Practicing in front of the mirror is not the same.
  6. Short best man speeches work best.  All of the memorable best man speeches are never over 5 minutes long.
  7. When delivering your speech, make sure you look up at the audience.  Each time you refer back to your notes, look back up and focus on a different wedding guest
  8. Watch a famous comedian and learn how they manipulate their audience at will, remember its all about timing!
  9. Drinking too much alcohol before your speech can be devastating.  One drink to settle the nerves is fine, but anymore and you will be asking for trouble.

Best Man Speech One Liners

Here are few funny best man one liners you may like to include in your speech.

  • “A wise, old man once said that a best man’s speech should be as long as it takes the groom to make love.”  Pause, look down at your watch and say “Thank you very much” before sitting back down again.
  • “This is the 3rd time today I’ve stood up with a warm piece paper grasped in my right hand”
  • “Everybody here knows that (bride’s name) is a smart, attractive and caring women that rightly deserves a good husband to spend the rest of her life with.  So thank god you married her, (grooms name), before she found one.”
  • “Obviously, I’ve been warned not to go into detail about (groom’s name) ex girlfriends.  But what a stroke of luck, 119 is his lucky number.
  • “Isn’t it fantastic that (grooms name) got in shape for this, the biggest day of his life?  Although it’s such a shame that the shape he picked was a circle”

Warning, some of the jokes above are a little close to the mark.  Sure, most people will find them funny and laugh, but equally some people could take offensive.  If you’re not sure, air on the side of caution and find some different material.

Best Man Speech Templates

If all of the above best man speech ideas sounds like too much hard work or you are simply not comfortable writing your own best man speech, don’t panic, there is lots of help available online.

A quick search for “best man speech templates” or “best man wedding speeches” will return lots of dedicated websites where all you have to do is simply fill in the blanks to automatically create a tailored best man speech.

Most of these websites will charge you for this convenience.  However, in our experience the quality of content is typically very good, and if nothing else, it will at least give you a good starting point if you are finding it tough to write a really funny best man speech. This is our favorite wedding speech website and one we highly recommended you take a look at.

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